Are you letting a setback a disappointment derail your vision?
Do you have disappointment? Is a setback keeping you stuck and keeping you from moving forward?Setbacks and disappointments are part of this human journey, so how do we move forward from a setback?
Last fall, I was days away from hosting a retreat in the mountains. We had been planning it for over a year, I was excited to bring this community together to really build dreams and goals and create plans, and the day of the retreat I had to cancel it because of Covid protocol, and it was crushing. All that time and energy, the plans and the excitement, felt like it was just flushed down the toilet. There was a part of me that was so disappointed not only for myself, but for the people who were planning on being there.
When I had that disappointment last fall, I gave myself permission to feel the disappointment, and then I started looking for the good. And because I was willing to look for the good, there was so many blessings that came from that, where we were able to come together in an online version. I was able to support more people globally as a result of that being virtual. I’m looking forward to when we can gather again together and do an in-person retreat, but the good that has come from that has been absolutely priceless.
I think sometimes what happens when we get into personal development work, and we start to understand the power of our thoughts, we don’t always give ourselves permission to really feel the feelings, to give ourselves permission to feel that disappointment, hurt, sadness or frustration. That’s the first step in really overcoming disappointment, is to allow ourselves to feel the feelings. If we don’t do that, we tend to just stuff it down, and that emotion will eventually rise to the surface. Instead of stuffing the emotion down, give yourself permission to feel it.
I encourage my clients to do this in what we call an appointment with disappointment. And that means scheduling a time on the calendar where you’re going to give yourself 15 or 20 or 30 minutes of really being in the disappointment of that setback, where you’re journaling, writing how you’re feeling, all about the frustration, anger or sadness. Really give it a voice, and release it onto that paper.
Here’s the key though, is we don’t want to stay there. We don’t want to pitch a tent in the disappointment, but it is important to move that energy.
Here’s the next step, ask yourself “What good can come from this?” Where do I want to focus my attention now? What am I creating now? And so as we’re feel the feelings, we can start directing or pouring our energy into what we do want to create.
When we first ask ask the question what good can come from this, there’s probably a part of you that’s going to say there is no good, this is awful, this is horrible, I can’t see any good.
Dr. Michael Beckwith says there is good here. I’m just not currently aware of it, but I’m going to keep my mind open to that good revealing itself to me. So what does that do? That lets us really know that there has to be good here. There is good here. I may not be able to see it right now, but I’m going to keep my mind open to that good revealing itself. By stating that and affirming that, you’re now in a different mindset where you’re open to the good revealing itself.
I’ll tell you that I have had experiences in my own life, and have seen in my client’s lives, where they get to this place where they’re so grateful for that experience. They’re grateful for that disappointment, because of all the good that eventually came from it.
What disappointment are you facing right now? Schedule that disappointment appointment and then open yourself to that good revealing itself to you.
Here is to you living a life you love,