I have a special guest today. I love bringing you different people from my community and who are doing great things in the world, and Melissa Brinklow joined for the blog!
Melissa is a wife, a mom of two busy young girls who are six and eight. She is also a health and wellness coach.
In her work, supporting people on their health journey, people come to her generally because they are feeling overwhelmed with everything. They feel like they can’t make good choices, or are wanting to lose weight. The majority of people that she works with start because they’re feeling uncomfortable with their own bodies. They want to make good choices and they’re just ready to make a change.
Oftentimes they’ve tried other things before and it hasn’t stuck. And that is the same with my work too! I’m typically not people’s first stop as they have done other personal development.
"Generally I find when people are able to lean into our community and have the accountability from people that are in the same situation as them, who have similar goals, and want to have some success, being able to lean in and join into the community is something that works out very well for the majority of people."
One key that Melissa finds really supports people is their community. “Generally I find when people are able to lean into our community and have the accountability from people that are in the same situation as them, who have similar goals, and want to have some success, being able to lean in and join into the community is something that works out very well for the majority of people.”
Being part of a community is so key! Oftentimes we think, “I know what I need to do. I should just be able to do it.” I know I felt that way, and Melissa said she did too.
This is so common in the coaching industry. Coaches can sometimes feel like, “I teach this, so I should know how to do it myself.” Melissa is part of my community and has some great successes from having that accountability from a coach and the community herself. She says, “having a support group around you is what works for me. I know that I’m the coach and the expert in what I am sharing with people, but I need my community too, and I need my group and I need accountability for myself. So it really just works out well for everyone that’s involved.”
The way I say that to people is never hire a coach that doesn’t have a coach. Because if we believe in the power of that accountability and having that mentorship and that structure of support and how important it is for our clients, we also want that for ourselves.
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The accountability piece, means it’s not just being accountable to myself, but I’m now accountable to the people in my community and my coaching group. When you clients are doing really well, you want to be there and show up for not only yourself but for other people too.
Melissa adds, “Cheering other people on makes me feel better, which helps the entire flow of the group, and boosts everyone’s energy! When you see someone else being cheered on for a success, a small win, you feed off of that energy. We celebrate everything in our groups because, why not?”
That celebration is key. It’s easy to focus on what’s not going right, and it really takes a different level of community to celebrate the wins and to train ourselves for what’s going right, which like you said, feels better.
Melissa shared, “one of the big things that we do in our groups is focus on mindset. As much as there is that physical aspect of it, if your mindset is not there, your success is probably not going to be what you’re hoping it is.”
This is a component that is usually missed as people go after their goals. They think, “if I just eat better, if I just move more.” I hear this in business,”if I just do more marketing, when I get my business cards…” It’s where they are waiting for that thing outside of them… that’s how most of us are trained. We get results, but it’s not sustainable. You need the mindset piece for long term sustainable growth.
Melissa added, “the mindset piece is a big part of where we like to go with our groups, and there’s always something that we’re working on. Book suggestions, podcasts, just little things to tweak and little things to think about. Stacey’s talked about bookends of her day, so we have incorporated discussion about how we start and end our day, and that is a huge component of what we’re doing as we move forward.”
One of the things I hear often is, “Okay, I’ve been doing really, really well and now I’m going on summer vacation…” Where we live, summers are short, and we really place a high value on our summers. There’s this tendency of “I’ve got to stop everything, I have to take a break”, or asking “what if I lose all my momentum over summer?” So I asked Melissa what she would say to the person who’s going on summer vacation, who doesn’t want to put quite as much effort or attention, and wants to be able to enjoy the patio and all of the family and friend events. How would she encourage somebody to really stay connected to their goals, motivated, and not lose all of their momentum at the same time?
She says, “I think just giving yourself some grace is a great place to start. I know that the one patio drink that you’re going to have, or the one chip truck that you might eat at is not going to ruin and derail your progress. Finding little things here and there that you can incorporate into your day, maybe taking the stairs or doing little activities to boost your energy, to make you feel like you’re doing something. But you don’t have to necessarily stick to an extremely rigid routine. It’s life, you have got to live your life, and if you’re not doing that then it’s not going to be enjoyable.”
It’s not sustainable either, right? We’re meant to enjoy life! Set your mind up for success that you can have a great summer and feel really good as well.
She adds, “Also, take some time before the busyness of your day comes in, just take a few minutes for yourself. Either just sit in silence or for myself, I do some affirmations, and I just meditate for a few minutes. It can be five minutes, take just five minutes to yourself, and you’d be amazed at how often that can just impact your entire day.”
The power of five minutes! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, think in terms of those baby steps, asking “what can I do today?” And enjoy!
Thank you to Melissa for being my guest today! Learn more and contact Melissa through her Instagram at @melissabrinklow and her Facebook page, Aligned by Design-Melissa Brinklow.
Here is to you having a healthy, happy summer,
Stacey
After 16 years of climbing the corporate ladder, mentoring entrepreneurs in marking, operations and finance, I made the decision in 2014 to teach success principles full time, combining my love of business and personal development.
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