I Don’t Know What I Want

I know I talk a lot about the power of creating a vision, but what if you’re somebody who doesn’t know what you want?

Maybe you have been in survival mode for a long time, you’re in a period of transition, you’re wondering who you are, or maybe nobody’s even asked you the question “What would you love?” or “What do you want?” So today we’re going to dive into how to create a vision, if you’re in a position where you really don’t know what you want, you don’t know where to start with a vision.

The power of a vision is so important. If we don’t know where we’re headed, if we don’t have a destination, then it’s really tough to make decisions, and we’re just kind of drifting or floating along. Having a vision and a clear direction is one of the most important pieces in transforming your results.

So, what if you’re the person who doesn’t know what you want? I want to give you a few tools today to really support you in gaining that clarity in your vision, and I have a special invitation for you today as well, so make sure that you read til the end.

If we don't know where we're headed, if we don't have a destination, then it's really tough to make decisions, and we're just kind of drifting or floating along. If you don't know what you want, here are some ways to find it.

You really can learn how to dream and how to vision, and one of the best places to start is to carve out some time to do that. It’s really easy to procrastinate with it and say well, when the kids are older, when I’m not caregiving, or when I retire, THEN I’ll dream.

Start by intentionally setting some time aside where you’re going to get clear on what your vision is, and what’s important to you. Schedule time, maybe it’s Sunday morning when everybody’s still asleep and you can sit down and really start to consider and think about that dreaming.

The other way to get clear on your vision is by journaling. Take some time with pen and paper, and start journaling, using some prompts like “When I was a kid I always wanted to…” “If I were to win the lottery here’s what I would be doing…” Give yourself permission to journal and imagine all the possibilities, and inside that journaling process, it’s really important to put the “how” on hold.

Just practice using your imagination, giving yourself permission to really dream into what it is that you would love.

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As you’re journaling, consider your longings and your discontents.

If you can imagine, life is seeking greater expression through you. We, as a human species, are designed to grow. We are designed to want for more, we are designed to really have desires for more abundant life in all areas – life wants you to be happier. Life wants you to be more, to do more, to have more, and the way that that life itself is showing up, asking you and inviting you to grow, is in your current results, in your longings and your discontents. As you look at your current results right now, in your current life right now, where are you discontented? Where do you feel lost? Where do you feel frustrated? Where do you feel those rubs, or where are the problems in your life? Those problems are actually really powerful feedback to help you get greater clarity on your vision.

As you think about your day when you wake up, what are you worrying about? What are you thinking about? What are you complaining about to your girlfriends or or to your friends or to your partner? Those areas of challenges and of problems are perfect feedback to help you get clear, greater clarity on your vision, so as you’re looking at your discontents, take that as information.

Now what we want to do is flip the script. So if it wasn’t that discontent, if I didn’t dread going to work on Sundays, then if I’m flipping that script, maybe it’s “I go to bed on Sunday and I’m so excited for my week ahead.” “I’m doing work that I love.” Maybe you’ve got a really long commute and you can’t stand your commute anymore, so if you were to flip that, “I’m so happy and grateful that I work really close to home.” “I can ride my bike, I can walk to work.”

Notice how the discontent in your life is really good feedback to help you get greater clarity on what it is that you don’t want. So if you’re wondering, what’s my vision? Look to that discontent.

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The other place you want to look at is your longings. What’s your longing? Your longing is that yearning inside of you. Most of us have been trained to ignore it. We’ve been trained to be practical, be realistic, think of ideas as being for “dreamers”, or you get to a certain age and feel like it’s too late. Most of us have been trained to ignore the longings, and I’m inviting you into really paying attention to those yearnings and longings. Is there a place in the world that you’ve always wanted to travel to? Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a certain language, or take that art class, or you just really love getting your hands dirty, and you love planting your garden.

Pay attention to what gives you life. Maybe think back to when you were a kid, and what you dreamt of being. Maybe you always wanted to be a teacher, or a doctor, or to be an author, or to own your own business. Pay attention to those times in your life where you had those dreams, and maybe you put those dreams on hold because life took over, or you were told it wouldn’t be practical, or you just didn’t know how to accomplish it, so you didn’t even give yourself permission to dream.

Pay attention to other people who are living an inspired life. Look to your friends, colleagues, or to other people you know. You may personally know them, or you may be watching them from afar, but pay attention and surround yourself with other people who are living a lit up life, that are excited about life. Surrounding yourself with people who are up to big things, who are building dreams, building goals, will help to inspire you about what’s possible.

The other thing to remember if envisioning and goal setting has been challenging for you, is to give it time. We are constantly evolving and changing, and if it’s new to you, to ask yourself that question, what would I love? Building a vision can take time for some, so be patient with yourself. Enjoy the process of self-discovery and really leaning into what’s important to you, and what lights you up.

As a special invitation, I would love to invite you to attend our upcoming event, Passion to Purpose Live. This event is designed for you to really support you in gaining that clarity of vision, to surround yourself with a community of likeminded people, other people who are asking themselves that question “what would I love?” If you’re somebody who just knows you were meant for more, and you know that now is your time to really lean in to discover your passion, to really live your purpose, you want to make sure that you’re at this event. It is a game changer.

Having a vision is so key in creating new results, and here’s the thing, it’s never too late to dream. So make sure that you start that process today! Carve out some time to do some journaling, to really look at those longings, those discontents, and surround yourself with a community of other people who are dreaming big dreams. And I look forward to seeing you at the next Passion to Purpose event.

Here is to you living a life you love,

Stacey Berger

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About Stacey

Stacey Berger

Stacey Berger

After 16 years of climbing the corporate ladder, mentoring entrepreneurs in marking, operations and finance, I made the decision in 2014 to teach success principles full time, combining my love of business and personal development.


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