You have a dream or idea that lights you up, and the first person you want to share it with is your spouse or your partner. You take it to them and right away, and they start to question, “Where are we gonna get the money for that?” And “How are you gonna do that? You tried that before and it didn’t work.” Or “That seems silly.”
Pretty soon, our partner’s doubts start to create our own doubts and insecurities. And if we’re not careful, we stop dreaming and we don’t pursue what it is that we would really love.
If that’s where you are right now, where you have this desire for more in your life, you’re wanting to grow and try something new, but you’re worried about how that’s going to impact your marriage or relationship, let me give you some tools on how to move forward when your partner doesn’t support you.
The first place to start is to get really clear on what it is that you would love. Creating that vision for the results that you want, and remind yourself why that’s important to you. If you want help establishing what that vision is, make sure you attend the Masterclass on June 19, that’s exactly what we’re going to do. It’s getting really clear on what you would love, and why it’s important to you, because what that’s going to do is it’s going to help anchor that energy within you. So when you present it to other people, their opinions aren’t going to impact you as much.
It’s really important in the beginning stages of that vision to keep it what I like to call sacred. Sarah Blakely, the creator of Spanx, she said she held onto her idea for Spanx for over a year, without telling anybody, because she was worried that if they questioned her idea, it might raise her own doubts and she might not move forward. We want to be very careful who we’re sharing that dream and that vision with. The way that I like to say it, is a raised eyebrow from the wrong person can kill a dream. Because we want that support and encouragement, and when we don’t receive it, it starts to bring up our own doubts and our own insecurities.
Secondly, find a community that’s going to support you in your idea. The reason our spouses often don’t support us is because it triggers their own paradigms and insecurities, and now they feel responsible for bringing your dream to life. They might be asking how they are going to pay for it, or how is it going to impact them. It’s not that they don’t want to support you, they just don’t know how. Finding a community of people that are going to believe in you and your dreams is going to help boost your confidence in your ability to really move your dream or your vision forward.
If you haven’t done it already, I highly encourage you to join the EverExpanding Together community group on Facebook, because it’s filled with people who are building their dreams and supporting each other. So find that community for you.
I know that the mastermind groups that I run, these these individuals have fallen in love with each other and fallen in love with each other’s visions. They’re the greatest cheerleaders for each other, when maybe we don’t have that same support from our families and from our loved ones.
Finally, here’s how to have a conversation with your spouse or partner. Ask them to support you, not because they understand the idea (maybe they don’t even agree with the idea), but ask them to support you because they love you. I believe that you want your partner to live their best life, to pursue their dreams, to be happy, to be fulfilled, and chances are that’s what your partner wants for you too. So ask them to support you because they love you, not because they understand. In doing that, it really creates this opportunity where we’re letting them off the hook from needing to fully understand or agree with our idea. We’re just asking them to support us because they love us.
Now that you have their support, even if you’re not sure how to move this forward, maybe the finances are a concern, or the time is a concern, remember to do what you can, with what you have, from where you are. What’s the one step you can take today in service of moving that dream forward?
When our partners or our spouses don’t support us, or we’re concerned about their opinions of our dreams and hold ourselves back, it can build up resentment, bitterness, regret, which ultimately can impact that relationship, or even your health. Don’t let that discouragement hold you back from living a life you love.
Get clear on your vision, find a community that supports you. ask your partner to support you because they love you. Then do what you can with what you have from where you are.
Here is to you living a life you love,