Comparison steals your confidence – here’s how to reframe it!

Confidence is so key when it comes to our performance in all areas of our life. When we’re feeling confident, we do better in our jobs, we do better with our health and our eating habits, we create stronger relationships, and more.

If you know that you could benefit from greater confidence in your life, one of the things that is so key to avoid is comparison. 

Comparison can show up a few different ways, but let me show you how comparison can actually decrease our confidence and impact our performance, sabotaging success.

There are three common ways that comparison enters in our life which you can read about below.

When you go into comparison, notice how that makes you feel. It typically creates a feeling of 'lesser than'. It decreases our confidence, our self-image, and therefore impacts our performance and results.

One of the ways comparison shows up in our life is when we’re comparing our results to the results that other people are achieving.

You may be scrolling through your social media feed, and see somebody on a vacation or on a date night or something special. You might be talking to a friend or a coworker, and pretty soon as you’re looking at them and then considering where you are in your life and feeling like you’re not measuring up.

When you go into comparison, notice how that makes you feel. It typically creates a feeling of ‘lesser than’. It decreases our confidence, our self-image, and therefore impacts our performance and results.

So how do we avoid that comparison?

The mental move here is to move to celebration.

When you see somebody achieving results that you would like to achieve, notice the part of you that would love that too. Allow that to inform your vision and your goals and what you want to accomplish in your life. When we go to celebration, we’re celebrating other people for that accomplishment, and for living a life they love, and the energy of celebration lifts our spirits, ultimately making us feel better. When we feel better, we feel more confident.

Move from comparison of other people to celebration.

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The second way that we tend to compare is we compare ourselves to an older version of ourself.

Have you ever said or thought “when I was a kid, I could do that.” Or “When I was in my 20’s I felt this way.”

You compare yourself to different versions of you, and when you’re doing that, you’re doing it from a sense of not being good enough right now.

Start to notice, where am I holding a comparison of myself today to an older version of myself?

The truth is, you’re not in your 20’s anymore. You may not be that version of yourself, no longer a single person, or someone without kids. You are not the same person you were six months ago, never mind six years ago or six decades ago. That comparison to an old version of yourself can also make you feel ‘less than’. We often feel maybe sad or resentful or regretful and it creates this diminished self-image and self-confidence.

The mental move when you notice yourself comparing yourself to an old version of you, is to just know, “I am in the right and perfect place in this moment. I am right where I need to be.” It’s honouring where you are in your life journey. Grateful for all of the experience. Grateful for all of that life lived. You are right where you’re meant to be. Bring yourself back to gratitude for the present moment, and the present version of yourself.

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The third way that comparison can show up and really impact our confidence is when we compare ourself to where we think we should be.

This one is a little bit trickier and sometimes sneaky! We think “At this age I thought I would be further ahead. I thought I would be in this place of my life. I haven’t achieved my goals yet.” You are comparing yourself to where you think you should be, and again, if we’re not careful, that really produces this lower vibration energy and can diminish our self-image or self-confidence.

Instead of comparing to a past version of yourself, now you’re comparing yourself to an idea of where we think we should be, and the mental move here is the same. It’s really to say, “I’m so grateful for I where I am right now.” And to know that “Where I am is perfect. I’m not done, I’m not complete, I’m still evolving, and I can still have those goals and those dreams but this is simply where I’m meant to be right now.”

We hold those dreams and goals with an open hand and heart, and ask ourself, would I still love that? Having gratitude that it’s not too late, stating that here I am right where I’m meant to be, and to ask if I would still love to create that life.

Then I can work at really endeavouring to live into that life, but not from a place of beating ourselves up, or saying I thought I’d be further ahead than I am right now.

So where is comparison holding you back? Have you been comparing yourself to other people in their journey? Have you been comparing yourself to an older version and beating yourself up for not having the same vibrancy or health or positivity as you once did, knowing that you are right where you need to be? Or have you been comparing yourself to where you think you should be, beating yourself up for not meeting those goals, achieving what you thought you would achieve by now? Again, remind yourself that you’re not done yet and where you are is perfect, and you can still live into those goals and those dreams. As we remove ourselves from this energy of comparison to one of celebration and honouring, your confidence increases and your performance increases.

I hope that you’ll practice those this week, and here is to you living a life you love,

Stacey

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About Stacey

Stacey Berger

Stacey Berger

After 16 years of climbing the corporate ladder, mentoring entrepreneurs in marking, operations and finance, I made the decision in 2014 to teach success principles full time, combining my love of business and personal development.

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